Tips for Making Holiday Visits Enjoyable for Seniors and Their Caregivers

While holidays should be a time of joy and celebration, they can also be a source of stress if the needs of friends and family are not properly planned for or taken into consideration. Parents of young children may find it a challenge to balance the high expectations of their kids with the mental and/or physical limitations of their aging parents. 

Senior family members may have just been diagnosed with dementia or Alzheimer’s and no longer be able to remember or safely participate in long-standing traditions. However, with some advance planning, simplifying when possible, and increasing the accessibility of activities, holidays for elderly and younger family members can remain fun and enjoyable for everyone. 

 

It is important for families with aging members to be aware of dementia symptoms so they can recognize them. If seniors live in an independent living  facility or assisted living community, or go for periods without seeing other family members, family members may not pick up on the beginning of memory or behavioral changes. Not until the holidays, when seniors spend extended time in their family’s company. 

Catching the first signs of dementia is critical so that seniors can get the medical care they need as soon as possible. Monitoring symptoms as they progress is also important for their continued well-being. In time, seniors with dementia may require the advanced services provided in a nursing home and/or the memory-loss expertise of employees in a memory care facility to ensure they remain safe and well cared for.  

Even if your older loved ones do not have cognitive decline, they may still have limitations that must be kept in mind to have a successful holiday family gathering. Below are some tips on how families spanning multiple generations can have a happy, safe holiday visit together.

Come up with a draft of a plan for your family holiday, keeping in mind that this will change over time. Ideally, this draft should make planning easier as there is no pressure to get things perfect the first time. 

Speak with your loved one about which traditions they want to preserve, and discuss their energy levels. There might be pushback if your loved one thinks they are still able to do something they’ve always done, but you have evidence to the contrary.

Make sure the needs of young children or aging parents are accounted for when possible. Does your plan consider bedtimes, dietary limitations, medication schedules, bathroom accessibility, and varying physical and/or mental limitations? Holidays for elderly loved ones may require lots of breaks, which can double as naptime for any small children. Breaks are important, because seniors with Alzheimer's may experience increased confusion during the evenings, known as sundowning, which may be made worse by becoming overtired due to non-stop activity. 

Keeping multigenerational needs in mind, consider eliminating or modifying any activities that could be dangerous, embarrassing, or uncomfortable for family members. Or, come up with alternative activities that they can easily and safely engage in while others participate in your original plan. For example, you could plan full-body activities for children intended to keep them entertained, get them moving, and reduce their energy, but come up with less physically demanding Christmas games for elderly family members to participate in.

If possible, also try to plan some activities that can be safe and enjoyable for all ages when done together, such as singing or listening to music, taking a drive to look at holiday decorations, watching movies together, baking, crafting, or looking through photo albums. There are many activities recommended by the Alzheimer’s Association where engaging with someone who has dementia can be done as a group.

Don’t forget your own needs. Look at your plan and consider crossing off things that you’d like to do, but make you feel stressed out. Consider reallocating those tasks to others. Remind yourself that overplanning can create anxiety. A simple plan with a few backup options should be good enough to account for any unexpected changes, yet make it so that you can also focus on and enjoy your family instead of frantically planning the next activity.

As you make changes to your plan, you may find yourself feeling down about eliminating things you always used to do over the holidays, or mixed feelings about doing them somewhat differently. Instead, try to think of it as an opportunity to come up with novel ideas and the beginning of making some new cherished family traditions.

Inform anyone who doesn’t already know about the changing needs of other family members, as appropriate, before the holiday get-together. Discuss important topics including what to expect, how things are different, and/or how other family members can help. This way, you establish baseline understanding, and your senior loved ones or parents of young children don’t feel like an active burden in the moment.

Holidays can be an emotional time. They may also be overstimulating or exhausting for some seniors. Further, seniors with Alzheimer’s or other forms of dementia may feel a sense of grief or loss during the holiday season as they are reminded of how things have changed for them in recent years. Keep in mind that seniors with or without cognitive decline may need to rest or find a quiet place to relax during the celebrations.

Planning holidays for elderly parents and younger family members can be stressful. However, the tips in this article will help you during this process. By planning ahead and making adjustments based on the needs of everyone, holidays for elderly family members can be fun for multiple generations.

• Activities to enjoy with someone who has Alzheimer's or dementia. (n.d.). Alzheimer’s Association
• Alzheimer’s warnings often show during holidays. (2021). Alzheimer’s Association
• Caring for aging loved ones. (n.d.). Psychology Today
• Sleep issues and sundowning. (n.d.). Alzheimer’s Association