What Do You Do if a Loved One Refuses To Move to Memory Care?

If your loved one refuses to move to memory care, you generally can’t make them unless you have legal guardianship. You can ask another person to discuss matters with your relative in the hope they will change their mind. Another alternative is to consider other care arrangements if your loved one is in agreement and they can safely live in a setting other than memory care. Finally, you could seek guardianship, allowing you to override your loved one’s preferences if it’s in their best interests.

If you’ve tried explaining how memory care would benefit your loved one and they’re still against the idea, it can sometimes help if another trusted person is involved in conversations. Perhaps a sibling or good friend can connect with your relative in a way you can’t. Maybe your loved one would consider advice from their physician, spiritual leader or a respected community member.

If discussions about memory care remain unproductive, your loved one may consider a different type of long-term care. Seniors in the early stages of cognitive decline may be suitable candidates for assisted living. Communities assist with day-to-day activities and enrichment programming while supporting senior independence, which may appeal more to your loved one. Assisted living may be a stepping stone toward future care needs.

Additionally, some states provide Supportive Living as an alternative to premature nursing home or memory care placement. Similarly, in-home care could be an interim measure for those with mild to moderate disease progression. Visiting support, alongside home modifications and enhanced safety features, may enable your loved one to remain safely at home for a while. This could be a compromise that ensures your loved one has adequate care while reducing your caregiver burden, particularly if you’re going through the process of obtaining permanent guardianship. Day care programs are another alternative that can provide safety, security and purposeful daily engagement during a transitional period.

Your loved one may be fearful, confused or in denial about their dementia diagnosis and need for ongoing care, so seeking legal guardianship may ensure your loved one gets appropriate care and supervision. Because guardianship laws vary between states, it’s often valuable to work with a specialist eldercare lawyer who can guide you through the process.

In short, you must petition the court to be appointed as your loved one’s legal guardian because they can no longer make balanced decisions. The court may appoint a lawyer to act as a safeguard on your relative’s behalf. However, a court will only grant guardianship if it receives strong evidence that it’s necessary. If your petition is successful, you can legally make decisions in your loved one’s best interests, such as moving to memory care.