How to Move a Parent with Dementia into Assisted Living and Memory Care

​Dementia is a growing global health concern, currently affecting over 55 million people worldwide, with nearly 10 million new cases emerging each year. Alzheimer's disease accounts for 60%-70% of these cases. World Health experts project this number to rise to 78 million by 2030 and 139 million by 2050. ​

For most families, the dementia care journey begins at home. Of the caretakers Caring.com surveyed, approximately 73% of people with dementia first receive care from loved ones in a home setting. 

As dementia progresses and caregiving needs become more complex, families often find that dedicated memory care facilities — designed to provide specialized support, structured routines, and secure environments — offer a higher quality of life for their loved ones and much-needed peace of mind for themselves.

Knowing when and how to move a parent with dementia to an assisted living environment or memory care facility is a deeply personal and challenging decision. Safety concerns often prompt families to reconsider home care arrangements. Caring.com dementia care survey responses indicate concerns over dementia home safety as the main driver for seniors receiving dementia care in memory care facilities. ​

The World Health Organization also notes that dementia is a leading cause of disability and dependency among older adults worldwide, making specialized care essential as the condition progresses. 

When daily tasks such as bathing, dressing, or preparing meals become too challenging, or the person with dementia begins displaying aggressive behaviors, memory care communities can provide the structure, supervision, and support needed to maintain a comfortable quality of life for the individual and their family.

While home care allows for familiarity and close family involvement, memory care communities offer structured environments tailored to the unique needs of people with dementia, providing enhanced safety measures and specialized therapeutic activities. 

Assessing the disease's progression, the home environment, and the well-being of the individual and their caregivers is crucial in making an informed decision about transitioning to facility-based care.

Memory care facilities offer services tailored to individuals with Alzheimer's disease and other forms of dementia, providing a higher level of care than standard assisted living communities. While both settings assist with activities of daily living (ADLs) such as bathing, dressing, and medication management, memory care units incorporate additional features to address the unique challenges associated with memory impairments, like sundowning.

Key distinctions of memory care facilities include:

• Specialized Staff Training: Caregivers in memory care units undergo extensive training in dementia care techniques, equipping them to effectively manage complex behaviors like aggression and wandering.
• Enhanced Security Measures: To ensure resident safety, these facilities often feature secured entrances and exits, keypad access, and alarmed doors to prevent wandering incidents.
• Therapeutic Programming: Memory care communities offer activities and therapies to support cognitive function and reduce agitation, such as reminiscence therapy and sensory stimulation.
• Environmental Design: Thoughtfully crafted layouts can minimize confusion and promote familiarity by incorporating clear signage, soft colors, and clutter-free spaces.

Many senior living communities offer a continuum of care to provide support as residents' cognitive needs evolve. While assisted living offers independence with occasional assistance, memory care provides a more intensive, specialized approach to meet the demands of dementia care.

Deciding to move a parent with dementia to assisted living or memory care is never easy. It's an emotional process filled with logistical and personal challenges, and it often follows months — if not years — of home caregiving. While it can feel overwhelming, preparing in advance can ease the transition and help your loved one feel more secure, supported, and respected. 

The following section covers key steps to help you prepare for the move.

Finding the right facility is the foundation of a successful transition to memory care. Schedule tours at communities that align with your loved one's care needs and values. During your visit, pay close attention to staff-resident interactions, facility security, and program availability. Ask detailed questions about staffing, meal plans, safety measures, and daily routines. Use this comprehensive list of questions to ask memory care facilities to guide your visit.

Starting the conversation about memory care can be one of the most emotionally charged moments in the caregiving journey, especially if they're not already in assisted living. Many older adults may resist the idea due to fear of losing independence, denial of cognitive changes, or attachment to their home. Recognize that this conversation is a process, not a one-time event. Approach the discussion with empathy, patience, and a plan. Choose a calm, quiet time to talk, and frame the move as a step toward maintaining dignity and safety, rather than a loss of freedom.

When your loved one's cognitive decline has progressed to the point that they cannot meaningfully participate in the decision, your approach must shift to prioritizing emotional reassurance. 

Instead of focusing on the details of the move, emphasize their comfort and security: "We've found a place with caring people who will help you feel safe and cared for." Avoid overwhelming them with logistics, and prepare to repeat the conversation gently over time. Including a trusted family member or healthcare professional to reinforce the message and help normalize the transition can be helpful.

Packing thoughtfully for the move can ease the transition to memory care and help your loved one feel more at home in their new environment. Bring familiar and comforting items, like family photos, a favorite blanket, personal toiletries, books, and music, to help reduce anxiety and provide a sense of continuity. Include easy-to-wear, comfortable clothing labeled with their name, and don't forget essential items like a calendar or memory aids that support daily routines.

To maintain a safe environment, avoid items that could become tripping hazards, such as area rugs or loose-fitting slippers without non-slip soles. Candles, space heaters, or any appliance that could pose a fire risk should also remain at home. Most memory care communities provide a list of prohibited items and safety guidelines to follow. Be sure to check with staff beforehand to ensure everything you pack supports your loved one's comfort and well-being.

​Personalizing your loved one's living space in a memory care facility is essential for fostering comfort and a sense of familiarity. Incorporating cherished items such as family photographs, favorite books, and meaningful keepsakes can significantly enhance their well-being. These personal touches make the environment feel more like home and serve as conversation starters with caregivers and fellow residents. ​

Many memory care communities feature shadow boxes outside residents' rooms to display personal memorabilia. Filling these boxes with items like photographs, letters, or small mementos can help your loved one maintain a connection to their personal history and identity, assist with room recognition, and provide comfort. When selecting items to bring, consider including:​

• Photographs: Family portraits, images from significant life events, or pictures of beloved pets
• Keepsakes: Awards, medals, or souvenirs from travels
• Hobby-Related Items: Tools or artifacts related to pastimes like knitting needles, fishing lures, or musical instruments
• Textiles: A favorite blanket, quilt, or pillow that provides comfort​
  Books or Music: Favorite novels, poetry collections, or CDs with cherished songs​

Avoid items that could pose hazards, such as throw rugs or furniture with sharp edges. Ensuring the room remains uncluttered facilitates easy movement and reduces fall risks. By thoughtfully curating their new space with these personal items, you can help your loved one feel more at home and supported within the memory care community.

​Moving a loved one into a memory care facility is a significant transition that requires thoughtful planning and emotional support. To facilitate a smoother moving day and help your loved one adjust to their new environment, consider the following strategies:​

​Transitioning a loved one into a memory care facility is a significant change that can evoke many emotions for both the individual and their family. After the move, engage in ongoing, compassionate conversations to help your loved one acclimate to their new environment. This phase of dialogue focuses on addressing their feelings, answering questions, and providing reassurance to ensure they feel comfortable and supported.​

Encourage your loved one to express any concerns or uncertainties they may have about their new living situation. Listen attentively and validate their emotions, acknowledging that feelings of confusion or a desire to return home are common during this adjustment period. 

For instance, if they express a wish to "go home," understand that this sentiment often reflects a need for comfort rather than a literal request. In such cases, gently redirect the conversation to positive aspects of their current environment or reminisce about fond memories to provide solace. ​

Maintaining open lines of communication and demonstrating empathy can significantly ease the transition into memory care. Address their concerns with patience and understanding to help foster a sense of security and belonging in their new home.

Encouraging your loved one to participate in community activities can play a vital role in their emotional and cognitive well-being after moving to memory care. Structured social engagement helps reduce feelings of loneliness, supports mental stimulation, and fosters a sense of purpose. 

Individuals with dementia benefit significantly from person-centered activities that promote connection and routine, which can reduce agitation and improve mood. Music therapy, gardening, or a simple group game can help residents build relationships and feel more at home in their new environment.

Building a strong, communicative relationship with staff is essential to receiving consistent, person-centered care. Sharing details about your loved one's daily routines, preferences, personal history, and medical needs allows caregivers to provide individualized support that aligns with your loved one's identity — not just their diagnosis. 

Effective dementia care requires collaboration between families and care teams to develop and adjust care plans that reflect the individual's changing needs. Ongoing communication helps to ensure your loved one receives thoughtful, personalized, and compassionate care.

The transition to memory care doesn't end once your loved one settles into their new space — in fact, it's just the beginning of a new phase of support. Ongoing involvement from family members is essential in helping residents adjust emotionally, feel connected, and maintain a sense of identity. Regular visits, open conversations, and collaboration with staff allow you to play a vital role in your loved one's overall well-being.

Regular visits from family and friends provide emotional support and a sense of continuity for individuals in memory care. Familiar faces and interactions can alleviate feelings of loneliness and confusion, contributing to a more positive mood and reducing agitation. Visits can provide comfort and connection to help persons with dementia feel valued and supported. ​

Even if your loved one may not always recognize you, the emotional benefits of your presence can be significant. Engaging in simple activities together, such as listening to music, looking through photo albums, or taking a walk, can enhance their quality of life and reinforce your bond.

Open communication with your loved one and staff is essential for addressing any concerns that arise during the transition. Regularly discussing your loved one's experiences, preferences, and challenges allows for timely adjustments to their care plan. The Alzheimer's Association highlights that person-centered care involves ongoing assessment and collaboration to meet the evolving needs of individuals with dementia. ​

By maintaining an open dialogue, you can help ensure your loved one's care remains aligned with their preferences and that any issues are promptly addressed, cultivating a supportive and responsive care environment.

Memory care offers specialized support for individuals living with Alzheimer's disease and other forms of dementia, going beyond services provided by traditional assisted living. Providers develop these communities with safety, structure, and cognitive support in mind — featuring trained staff, secure environments, and programs tailored to the unique needs of people with memory loss. 

For families, choosing memory care means peace of mind, knowing their loved one receives compassionate, round-the-clock supervision and care in a setting that encourages dignity, engagement, and quality of life.

Person-centered memory care can reduce agitation, improve mood, and help individuals retain independence for as long as possible. Memory care communities craft their environments to include therapeutic activities, predictable routines, and safety features like secured entrances and easy-to-navigate layouts to support physical and emotional well-being. When memory issues progress beyond what can be safely managed at home or in assisted living, memory care becomes a vital next step in providing long-term care and support.

Moving a parent with dementia into assisted living or memory care is a deeply personal decision that requires thoughtful timing, preparation, and support. Understanding the differences among independent living environments, assisted living communities, memory care facilities, and nursing homes can help families choose the best environment based on their loved one's evolving needs. 

Each step of the journey matters, from recognizing when care is needed to navigating the move itself. With the right resources, planning, and compassionate communication, you can ensure your loved one transitions safely and comfortably into a supportive care setting.

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• Martin-Cook, Kristin, et al. (2001). Impact of family visits on agitation in residents with dementia. American Journal of Alzheimer's Disease & Other Dementias
• Person-centered dementia care. (n.d.). Alzheimer's Association, New York City Chapter 
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• 7 tips for creating standout memory care spaces. (n.d.). Direct Supply