How Do I Convince My Parents With Dementia to Go to Assisted Living?
Date Updated: July 26, 2024
Written by:
Rachel Lustbader is a writer and editor with a background in healthcare and technology. Her work has been published on websites including HealthCare.com, BiteSizeBio.com, BetterHelp.com, Caring.com, and PayingforSeniorCare.com. She studied health science and public health at Boston University.
Both of Rachel’s grandmothers had very positive experiences in senior living communities, and Rachel saw firsthand the impact that kind, committed caregivers and community managers can have on seniors’ and their family members’ lives. With her work at Caring, Rachel hopes to help other families find communities, caregivers, and at-home products that benefit elderly loved ones and make life less stressful for family caregivers
To convince a parent with dementia to go to assisted living, you should start the conversation early and address the issue sensitively. It can be difficult for seniors to accept that they’re not as capable as they once were, and dementia is a hard subject for many people to talk about. Finding the right approach to the conversation may make your elderly loved ones more receptive to the idea. They may find it easier to listen and consider the issue if they don’t feel their competency is under attack.
Plant the seed by talking about others who have made the change and are happy there. Alternatively, ask them what their preferences would be and give them time to consider the idea at their own pace. According to the American Health Care Association National Center for Assisted Living, the median stay in an assisted living facility is 22 months. It’s important your parents are happy with the idea of moving into one and that they find a place they’ll enjoy living at.
Focus on the Positives
Rather than telling your loved one that they need to make the move into an assisted living facility because they’re not able to do certain things for themselves, focus on the positives. Wouldn’t they like to live in a property where they aren’t responsible for the maintenance? How much time would they save if they didn’t have to cook or clean for themselves? Don’t the activities on offer at the local assisted living community sound interesting? Highlight the good things about moving into an assisted living facility and let them sink in for a while before making the suggestion again.
Book Tours of Local Assisted Living Communities
Moving home is a major decision, even for a young adult. It can be particularly intimidating for an elderly person living with dementia who is fearful of leaving the family home they’ve known for decades. Booking tours of local assisted living facilities may give your loved one the chance to meet fellow residents and caregivers and get a feel for the atmosphere at each community.
Some facilities even allow seniors to stay for a day or two so they can experience everything that goes on, from meal service to social activities. This may help your loved one see the benefits of assisted living. In addition, visiting a few communities gives your parents the chance to compare them and makes them feel like they’re more in control of the decision to move.