Assisted Living

• Interview - Talking With Lillian Rubin

  Lillian Rubin, psychotherapist and the author of 60 on Up, talks about caregiver guilt, dealing with dementia, and the problem with living too long.

• Article - Assisted Living: A Beginner's Guide

  Assisted Living: A Beginner's Guide. How to choose the right assisted living facility for your parent.

• Interview - Talking With Tamara Jenkins

  The Savages director reflects on her real-life experience as a caregiver to her estranged father -- and why she wrote it differently for film.

• Checklist - Before Your Parent Moves, Pack a "First-Night" Box

  When your parent moves into any new living situation, she'll need supplies for that first night. Here's a checklist of essential items to pack.

• Article - How to Tell if Your Parent With Alzheimer's Needs Assisted Living

  How to tell if your parent with Alzheimer's needs assisted living. These questions will help you decide whether your parent needs more assistance.

• Article - Continuing-Care Retirement Communities: A Beginner's Guide

  How to help your parents decide whether a continuing-care community is right for them

• Interview - Talking With Michael Kirk

  An interview with Michael Kirk, producer of the PBS documentary Caring for Your Parents, about taking care of aging parents.

• Buying Guide - A Buyer's Guide to Long-Term Care Insurance

  Find the best long-term care insurance policy for your needs. Understand their costs, benefits, extra perks, and the common loopholes to avoid.

• Interview - Talking With Peg Gordon

  Nursing home staff and others who work with the elderly often don't grasp what it feels like to be old. Xtreme Aging Training shows them.

• Article - 8 Ways to Help Your Parent Stay Active and Engaged

  A variety of reasonably priced programs and services can help elderly people become more active and engaged. Making a good match for your parent depends largely on his condition and needs.

• Interview - Talking With Dudley Clendinen

  The author of A Place Called Canterbury talks about the role of a good life-care facility in the final days a parent and adult child have together.

• Article - Planning Your Parents' Move: A Step-by-Step Guide

  How to help your parents make the move to assisted living or a nursing home. Avoid pitfalls and find the right situation for your parent.

• Checklist - 8 Things to Look for in a Nursing Home Agreement

  Nursing home agreements affect your parent's care in a nursing home. Here's what to look for in a nursing home agreement.

• Article - "Aging in Place" Communities Offer Seniors Independence and Support

  Creative programs offer seniors new ways to get the services of a retirement community while remaining at home. Here are three popular models.

• Article - Nursing Homes: A Beginner's Guide

  Nursing Homes: A Beginner's Guide. A free informative guide to help you decide what nursing home is best for your parent.

• Interview - Talking With David Solie

  How geriatric psychologist and author David Solie dealt with care giving for his 87-year-old mother when she refused to leave her home.

• Checklist - Small Is Beautiful

  Moving to a retirement community usually means downsizing. These tips can help you help your parents make the most of their new, smaller space.

Blog Posts

• Blog Post - Sandwich Generation "Massively Stressed"

  A new study of sandwich generation women, caring for children and aging parents, finds them ill-prepared for the massive stresses of care giving.

• Blog Post - It Takes a Neighborhood (Part II)

  Taking care of an elderly neighbor can enrich the lives of everyone involved.

• Blog Post - The Mother's Day Gift That Keeps on Giving

  Spending time with your mother on Mother's Day is the best gift of all.

• Blog Post - The Adult Diaper Wars: A Call to Arms!

  A Canadian government official's threat to wear diapers triggers open talk of how to keep seniors who wear diapers comfortable and healthy.

• Blog Post - Aging Parents and Dental Care: A Life-and-Death Issue

  Regular dental care for your parents can be a matter of life and death.

• Blog Post - Downward Dog May Keep Elderly Upright

  Recent research reveals Iyengar yoga improves stability and balance in older women, which could lower their risk of falling.

• Blog Post - How can I deal with my mom's anger at me for urging her to move my dad to an Alzheimer's residence, where he fell in love with another woman?

  My mother, who took care of my father through the early...

• Blog Post - Alzheimer's Meds: Time for a Reality Check?

  The absence of good news about Alzheimer's medications reminds caregivers that learning behavioral therapy is paramount.

• Blog Post - Embarrassment Assistance! The Gift of Plain Wrapping

  Buying adult incontinence products online can save your parents from stressful embarrassment.

• Blog Post - Big Brother is Watching....Mom and Dad

  A new breed of high-tech retirement community is using technology to monitor seniors with dementia and other conditions, offering new freedoms while raising privacy concerns.

• Blog Post - Wii Senior Sports Craze May Get Your Parents Moving

  The Wii video game is a hit among seniors; a fun and gentle way to get them moving.

• Blog Post - My mother says she's lonely, and it's heartbreaking for me to hear her crying at night. What can I do to help her?

  My father died seven years ago, and for quite some...

• Blog Post - Use of Restraints in Nursing Homes: Down But Not Out

  The law limits how and when nursing homes can use restraints. What to do if your parent is confined by belts or bed rails.

• Blog Post - My mother's growing needs are putting a strain on my marriage, and I find myself wondering which will fall apart first -- her, my marriage, or me. What can I do?

  Since my dad died five years ago, my mother has had...

• Blog Post - Lifestyles of the Rich and Retired

  As retirement housing options expand, cruise ships have joined luxury hotel chains in offering high-end retirement destinations.

• Blog Post - Five Tips for Keeping the Sandwich Together

  Five tips to help sandwich generation members ease the stress of caring for aging parents in their homes.

• Blog Post - My father seems interested in moving in with me -- and I don't want him to.

  At 81, my dad has Parkinson's, three heart stents,...

Questions & Answers

• Question - Is there any financial help with the costs associated with assisted living facilities?

  This question has been answered by a Community Member

• Question - Does any government program pay for assisted living?

  Does Medicaid pay for assisted living? Medicaid pays for assisted living instead of a nursing home if you're lucky enough to live in the right state.

• Question - Will Medicare pay for an assisted living facility?

  Medicare doesn't pay for assisted living. Medicaid, not Medicare, pays for some assisted living for very low-income seniors in a few states.

• Question - Is there a program to help pay the cost of assisted living?

  Some state Medicaid programs help pay for residence in specially certified assisted living facilities.

• Question - I am looking for an assisted living home for my mother in...

  This question has been answered by a Caring.com Expert and a Community Member

• Question - My mother, who has dementia, refuses to go to assisted living. How do we get her involved?

  This question has been answered by a Caring.com Expert

• Question - How do I get my 90 yr old mother to go to a nursing home?

  This question has been answered by a Caring.com Expert

• Question - When is the best time to sell a parent's home when they live in an assisted living facility and won't be returning?

  This question has been answered by a Caring.com Expert

• Question - How have you handled persuading your loved one to remain in the nursing home when he or she unreasonably thinks he or she is ready to go home?

  Unanswered. Can you help?

• Question - How can I get my mother, who has dementia, to calm down in her nursing home?

  This question has been answered by a Caring.com Expert

• Question - Does my mother have to sign a home lien for short-term nursing home care?

  Medicare or Medicaid can cover all or most of short-term nursing home costs, but a nursing home might want a home lien from a private-paying patient.

• Question - Who is responsible for paying for my mother's care?

  This question has been answered by a Caring.com Expert

• Question - Will we have to pay out of pocket for nursing home care for my grandmother who has Alzheimers?

  This question has been answered by a Caring.com Expert

• Question - Is there a time limit on making a revocable trust before entering a nursing home?

  A revocable trust does not protect assets from consideration by Medicaid regarding eligibility for nursing home coverage.

• Question - How can I prescreen assisted-living facilities so I don't have to tour every one?

  When you're looking for assisted living, how do you narrow down the choices? Here are tips for screening assisted living facilities ahead of time.

• Question - What is the average cost of assisted living community fees in Westchester county in NY state?

  This question has been answered by a Caring.com Expert

• Question - An assisted living center, that my grandmother never ended up living in, is harassing me for 1 month's rent. Do I really owe this money?

  Unanswered. Can you help?

• Question - Is a home given away more than five years before still considered the parent's asset?

  Long-term care facilities can't attach assets given to adult children but Medicaid may consider such assets in deciding eligibility.

• Question - I don't think my 78-year-old mother has dementia, so why does she get sundown syndrome?

  This question has been answered by a Caring.com Expert

• Question - Does a living trust protect money from Medicaid consideration?

  Will putting money in a living trust protect my parent's money and help her get Medicaid? No, Medicaid considers money in a living trust an asset.

• Question - Will Medicaid or Medicare help pay for my mother's long-term care?

  Will Medicaid or Medicare help pay for my mother's long term care? Medicare will cover 100 days in a nursing home if certain qualifications are met.

• Question - Are nurse aides and healthcare technicians qualified to pass out medications at an assisted living facility?

  Unanswered. Can you help?

• Question - What do I need to know before I sign a nursing home contract?

  This question has been answered by a Caring.com Expert

• Question - My mother needs assisted living but my sister wants her to continue to live with her so my mother can pay her mortgage. How can I deal with this?

  Unanswered. Can you help?

• Question - Should I put my mom in a nursing home as her care has gotten too much for me?

  Should I put my mom in a nursing home? Putting your parent in a nursing home could be the best thing for her, physically and mentally.

• Question - What's an assisted-living community fee and how much is it?

  This question has been answered by a Caring.com Expert

• Question - Will Medicaid stop paying for my grandmother's assisted living facility if we take her out for the weekend or out for dinner?

  This question has been answered by a Caring.com Expert

• Question - Does divorce protect one spouse's assets from the long-term care costs of the other spouse?

  Is it wise to get a divorce to protect assets when one spouse has many assets and the other doesn't? Divorce can protect assets in some situations.

• Question - How many aides per resident are required in an assisted living facility?

  This question has been answered by a Caring.com Expert

• Question - How do I help my elderly mother deal with the loss of her pets?

  When someone moves into assisted living, does he have to give up his pets? If so, what should you do with his pets once he moves into assisted living?

• Question - Can my mom try out an assisted-living home before she commits to it?

  Is it possible to try out assisted living before committing to it? Yes, some assisted living homes allow people to live there for a short time first.

• Question - When is it time for assisted living?

  Unanswered. Can you help?

• Question - How can I get over my anger at my mother regarding my father's care?

  My mother refused to accept help in caring for my father, and he's going downhill fast after a fall. I'm furious with my mother, and am having a hard time getting over my anger and moving on.

• Question - What can I do if my mom's nursing home is mistreating her and I live out of state?

  This question has been answered by a Caring.com Expert

• Question - Am I responsible for my father's nursing home bill?

  A person's debts may follow them after death, but children are not usually responsible for their parents' nursing home debts unless they agreed to take them on.

• Question - How can I help my mother with the stress of caring for my grandmother?

  This question has been answered by a Caring.com Expert

• Question - How do my sister and I come to an agreement about whether my parents should move to an assisted living facility?

  This question has been answered by a Caring.com Expert

• Question - What is the difference between assisted living and nursing home?

  This question has been answered by a Caring.com Expert

• Question - Will Medicare help pay for an assisted living facility?

  Medicare doesn't cover assisted living at all, but in some states Medicaid can pay the full cost of assisted living for an elder with little money.

• Question - Should I take my 80-something parents with me to check out assisted living facilities for them or go alone?

  This question has been answered by two Community Members

• Question - The nursing home wants my father to leave because he's hard to manage; what are my options?

  This question has been answered by a Community Member

• Question - What are some fun activities for seniors who are confined to hospitals?

  This question has been answered by a Caring.com Expert

• Question - How can we keep from selling my mother's home to pay for her final expenses?

  Unanswered. Can you help?

• Question - My mom asked to be moved to assisted living, and now she is miserable. What can I do?

  I'm worried because my mother is miserable in her assisted living facility -- and she seems to be rapidly going down hill.

• Question - What can I do to encourage my dad to wear his emergency response device?

  This question has been answered by two Caring.com Experts

• Question - How do I make sure my father with Alzheimer's remembers to take his medicines?

  This question has been answered by a Caring.com Expert and a Community Member

• Question - My father is a paraplegic and alcoholic who is refusing all help. What, legally, can I do to get him assistance?

  Unanswered. Can you help?

• Question - Can we travel with parents with dementia?

  This question has been answered by two Community Members

• Question - What are the housing options for my parents who are filing bankruptcy?

  Unanswered. Can you help?

• Question - What's the best way to respond when my parent with memory problems keeps repeating himself?

  This question has been answered by a Caring.com Expert

• Question - How do find time for your own privacy when living with the...

  This question has been answered by a Community Member

• Question - Do we tell my grandmother, who is suffering from Alzheimers, about a death in the family?

  This question has been answered by a Caring.com Expert

• Question - Can I be held responsible for my mother's medical bills?

  This question has been answered by a Caring.com Expert

• Question - What can I do to bring some pleasure to my mom who has Alzheimer's?

  This question has been answered by a Caring.com Expert

• Question - What can I do about my emotionally dependent mother?

  My mother is dependant and miserable -- and making me miserable, too.

• Question - What is the best way to remove a dog from a parent with Alzheimer's?

  This question has been answered by a Caring.com Expert

• Question - What legal rights to do grandchildren have in determining whether grandma is fit to live alone?

  This question has been answered by a Caring.com Expert

• Question - Is guardianship recognized across state lines?

  It's most important that a guardian or conservator know the best interests of the person who needs help, but practical problems can arise where there is a geographical divide.

Tips & Reflections

• Tip - Offsetting the Costs of Caregiving

  Ask your tax advisor whether you can claim your parent...

• Tip - Little-Known Veterans Benefit Can Pay for Your Parent's Nursing Home

  A little-known Veteran's Benefit might help pay for nursing home care and other medical expenses. Learn what it is, how to qualify and apply.

• Tip - A Respite Care Option for When You're Away

  Worried about who will care for your elderly parent...

• Tip - Consider Separate Living Quarters in a Retirement Community

  If your parents are planning a move to an assisted...

• Tip - Saving Space by Storing Clothes

  To save precious space in your parents' itty-bitty...

• Tip - Time Hospital Visits to Coincide With Meal Times

  If your parent is in the hospital or a skilled nursing...

• Reflection - What I Wish I'd Known: Dudley Clendinen

  Dudley Clendinen, author of A Place Called Canterbury: Tales of the New Old Age in America, on communicating with his mother after her stroke.

• Tip - Watch What You Say

  When you're talking to your parents about moving, try...

• Tip - Power Lunch, Nursing Home Style

  The best time to visit a nursing home is at lunch,...

• Reflection - What I Wish I'd Known: Peg Gordon

  Xtreme Aging trainer Peg Gordon on finding a facility that tends to an elder's personal needs -- needs her grandmother's nursing home left unmet.

• Reflection - What I Wish I'd Known: Tamara Jenkins

  The Academy Award-nominee on what she'd change about her father's death.

• Tip - Put It in Writing to Avoid Disputes

  If you and your siblings are squabbling over who should...

• Tip - Continuing Care Tax Benefit

  If your parents move to a continuing care retirement...

News

• News - Pet Doors Opening at Assisted Living Centers

  THURSDAY, July 24 (HealthDay News) -- When the elderly...