Hi cece,
I really feel your stress and pain. Definitely find a caregiver's support group ASAP...it has helped me. My 87 yr. old mother-in-law threatens us by saying she'll starve herself to death if we try to put her in assisted care or a nursing home. 2 years ago she picked out a senior apartment complex that had a cafeteria, numerous classes, shuttle services, daily senior activities, but she refused to get involved. We ended up moving her in our home because she was paying this one big monthly fee at the senior complex, which was twice her monthly SS and pension income amount, and she was not using the amenities. She was going through her savings quickly, so we had to move her in with us after 10 months. This has been a lot of work and it's been difficult...I'm amazed that I'm still married, although things (marriage stuff) have changed for the worse.
So, explore all your options. Look into her insurance, know about her finances and read up on Medicare/Medicaid. Use her money to get the alarm pendant that she can push if she falls or needs medical help. They will dispatch 911 and then call you and your sisters. If she can afford caregivers, line them up to take your places. There are also some volunteer groups that will sit with elders and keep them company. If she has minimal income, she may qualify for some free or low cost caregiving. My mother-in-law makes a tad over the amount required for free services and she has too much in savings for medicaid, so we pay her part time caregiver and her alarm pendant.
Beleive me, this is going to be stressful for you because like me, you work full time and have your own family, too. I'm exhausted and stressed all the time and I just take one day at a time. If your employer offers EAP take advantage of the free (but limited counselors) and they also provide a good eldercare book, too. Do what you can to take care of you, the caregiver. Find escapes through yoga, meditation, shopping or chocolate. I know you are very busy with all this, but you MUST take some time to take care of yourself. And know that there are others with similar feelings of stress and feeling like we're headed for a nervous breakdown. This is like an on-line caregiver's support group, so use it often. It helps!! Good luck!